I’ve lived through 2020 and most of 2021—only hours left to go. I’ve seen it all. A global pandemic. Global apathy. The rise of the antichrist. The world stood still. Murder fucking hornets.
But I gotta admit, this one surprised me. Two disks reminiscent of the Seattle Space Needle, glowing brighter than the sun, light up the sky just before dawn.
Shortly after, the cops show.
“Mornin’, officers!” I wave them inside. “I’m assuming you’re not here for a room.”
“We’ve got reports of flying saucers. Did you happen to see?”
“Oh, couldn’t miss it! I was standing on my balcony. Flew right over my head!” I take a sip of my coffee. “Crazy things happening. Can’t help but wonder if this is the end.” The sizzle and pop of bacon comes from the kitchen. “Can I offer you gentlemen something? Guests will be coming down soon.”
“That’s actually what we’re here for. One of your guests.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“You see, those flying saucers landed right behind your little Bed and Breakfast here.”
“And someone got out.”
“Well, I’ll be.” I gulp. “You mean to tell me one of my guests is an alien!”
Just then a stampede of feet descends the stairs. I do a roll call in my head. 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66. Six rooms in total—we have a thing for double numbers. The Mrs. says they’re lucky. I’ll hold my breath for 2022.
The occupants of each room offer bland greetings as they walk by on their way to the dining room. I scan each of their faces, all I recognize.
“Well?” one of the officers says.
“You sure you got the right Bed and Breakfast?”
The other, who seems to have a permanent grimace, says, “We really don’t know what we’re looking for.”
“A six-foot walking fly, I imagine. Ain’t that what aliens look like?” I guide them to the door, offer them a bite for the road so they don’t feel like the trip out here on New Year’s Eve was a total waste.
“If I see anything, I know who to call!”
When they’re gone, my wife peaks around the corner from the kitchen. “That was close!”
I nod and exhale. Then I ask, “Who did you bring in the other saucer?”
Inspired by the episode “Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?” That’s just what we need, right? An alien invasion. Though, zombie apocalypse seems more likely…
Two more stories left to go!