“She’s talking about her 26 dead husbands again,” the front desk nurse said as I signed my name into the visitor’s log of Cedar Retirement Home.
“She’s up to 26 now?” When I was 10, Grandma only had three husbands. As the years went by, the number only increased, going deeper into her past, each husband dying a bizarre tragic death. In college, I created an Ancestry.com account and found only one marriage certificate. Her last, and according to records, her only marriage, was to Pawpaw.
Grandma only waved it off when I confronted her. “You think I got the imagination to make all this up at my age?” she asked. “They ain’t make no effort to keep up with black folks’ records back then. My own birth certificate says I’m a boy and my name is Warren!”
Grandma had a habit of exaggerating the truth. She once told me Mama was a dumb kid until she was five. She’d dropped Mama on her head trying to pull a ham out of the oven, and her IQ jumped 100 points. Now Mama’s a neurosurgeon, “knockin’ on brains and making other dummies smart too.”
Cedar Retirement was the perfect home for Grandma and her outlandish stories. With my busy Flight Attendant’s schedule and Mama living in New Orleans, Grandma was often lonely. I could only visit her once a week, and in the time between, she harassed neighbors and unfortunate citizens from the city’s white pages with tales she most likely pulled from her daytime soap operas.
While the other residents of Cedar Retirement were much too far gone to understand, she enjoyed their audience.
The wanderers in colorful fuzzy socks whose minds permanently resided in the early 1900s.
The Vietnam War veterans who invited nervous visitors to knock on the steel plates in their chests.
The newcomers who’d convinced themselves they were only visiting, doing ministry work for the church.
The stroke victims whose numb left sides left them with the ability to utter only a few words—Grandma said they were the best listeners; they never interrupted.
“Well, you’re just in time,” the nurse said, laughing. “She’s going through the whole alphabet.”
Grandma sat in an armchair nearest the entrance door. Four other seniors huddled around her, as if listening to campfire stories. She called me over when she saw me standing in the lobby.
“Meg, sweetheart,” she sang, “pull up a chair. Did I ever tell you about my first husband, Andrew?”
—Nortina
Are you joining the A to Z Challenge this year? Come back April 1st to read 26 Husbands–26 Unusual Deaths, inspired by my “Black Widow” story!
I’ve only come to your blog int he Theme Reveal list today, but thsi sounds so good!
@JazzFeathers
The Old Shelter – Jazz Age Jazz
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Hi, I’m visiting from the Blogging A to Z challenge. I absolutely love your theme and am looking forward to following over the coming weeks. Good luck!
[Angelyn] from
Angelyn’s Crimes of Passion
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Thanks so much. The first husband’s tomorrow. I’m so excited for everyone to read it!
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LOL! Such a lovely idea! I just read the story that inspired it and I’m looking forward to these unusual deaths :D. Good luck!
https://riandurants.wordpress.com/2016/03/22/a-to-z-challenge-theme-reveal/
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Thanks! Hopefully I can come up with one for every letter of the alphabet! haha! 😀
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I’m so happy I clicked on your link ! This is gonna be so interesting and you’ve already gotten me hooked ! x
-Sharu
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You’re in for a show too! 😉
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That’s a very clever and creative take on the theme. Here from the reveal and enjoyed your post. Way to go!
All the best for a great challenge
Nilanjana.
Ninja Minion, A-Z 2016
Madly-in-Verse
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Thanks for reading! I think the A-Z challenge this year is gonna be fun. I can’t wait to share mine, but I’m looking forward to reading everyone else’s too. 🙂
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I love this short story. Have I already told you how an amazing storyteller you are? You writes always lead you to the end, hanging on all the way
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Thanks! 😀
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Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to read the “rest of the story”! I’ll be back!
@ScarlettBraden from
Chica In Cuenca
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Great! Thanks for reading 🙂
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Wow! this got me hooked, completely! You write so well, can wait for April and your write-up on 26 husbands to begin 🙂
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Thanks so much! It’ll be fun 🙂
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This looks awesome. I’ll be sure to check back in April.
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Great! 🙂
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Skimming down the A to Z challenge list, my finger stopped on your blog. so glad I checked it out! I can’t wait to read about grandma’s 26 husbands and how she managed to free herself from them! Great theme idea, for sure!Melissa from
LittleCunningPlan
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Haha, thanks Melissa! It’ll definitely be fun. 😀
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Juicy! I can’t wait. That sounds right up your alley.
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Thanks! Are you doing the A to Z challenge? I think you’d be great at it.
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Thanks! I HAVE to finish this book I’m supposedly working on in March and April, trying not to make too many commitments.
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Ha! I need to be doing that myself!
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Love this theme! I can’t wait to read more. I’m already hooked. 🙂
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Thanks! I’m hooked on your theme too. I’m going through ghosts in my attic right now, and I’m totally addicted!
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Awww, thanks for reading last year’s posts, Nortina. 🙂 I’m really happy you’ve enjoyed them!
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Sounds wonderful. I’m doing 26 songs…
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Your theme sounds awesome! Definitely following 🙂
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Thanks!
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This is gonna be brilliant! Love it a lot, will be back to read more ☺
Andrea, volunteer in co-host Damyanti’s fab D Company
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Thanks Andrea. Looking forward to reading about your 30 musicians too. 🙂
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Thank you Nortina! Tried to go with the best 😉
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Whoa! Now that’s a theme! Looking forward to more.
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Thanks! I think you’ll really enjoy what’s in store. 🙂
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Great story and wonderful theme for the A to Z challenge 🙂
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Thanks! 🙂
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Good thing she stopped at 26. Sounds like fun.
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Thanks! Hope you’ll come back to read some. 🙂
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That will be interesting! Looking forward to it.
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Thanks! Are you doing the A to Z challenge this year?
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I am but I’m keeping my theme simple by just doing quotes.
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Hey, that works!
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Such a cool and interesting theme! I’m looking forward to reading them.
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Thanks! I think you’ll really enjoy them 🙂
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