Being stressed out is the worst feeling. Especially when you don’t have a clue as to why you’re so stressed. I’m not in school anymore, so I’m not forgetting a homework assignment or a major exam (though I still occasionally have those I-forgot-to-study-now-I’m-gonna-fail-this-test-and-flunk-out-of-school nightmares). My job is a call center; I literally have nothing to do but sit and wait for the phone to ring (and it rarely does). I’m single! Er . . . well . . . sort of . . . I mean, I may be in a relationship, I may not be . . . ? . . . We won’t put any labels on it just yet. Aw, hell, at least he’s not whining and nagging me about why I don’t call him everyday like the last one. Sheesh! (Note to self: Although you really want to see Sanaa Lathan’s new movie The Perfect Guy, do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to relive that nightmare for the sake of watching a good film and, might I add, sexy actors.)
All of that aside, I feel like I’m just not doing enough with my life, and maybe that’s why I’m so stressed. I’m not in love with my job, but I can’t seem to get even an interview anywhere else. I’ve plateaued on my weight loss goals for this year because I just can’t give up fries and Chinese food. So much for loosing 30 lbs. by October (maybe I’ll try for Christmas?). While my writing is going well and I’m adding to my published works list (yay!), I haven’t had time to sit down and write anything new or submit some of my still unpublished works to new magazines. And going back to jobs, I do more work on this blog, editing articles for my church magazine, and managing my own literary-arts magazine online than I do at my actual job. In fact, I do most of my miscellaneous projects while at work waiting on the phone to never ring.
This 9 to 5 life is not for me. I’ve actually considered going back into fast food. I’d meet more people, find better inspiration for my stories, and I’d be less tired when I get off work. Contrary to what you may think, it is physically draining sitting at a desk in front of a computer doing absolutely nothing all day. From what I’ve experienced so far, Corporate America is not fun at all. I’m too much of a free spirit to be confined to a white-collar desk job my whole life. And to all those entry-level positions wanting 3-5 years experience, guess which finger I’m holding up.
Honestly, I get more excitement from McDonald’s at noon than I do the office any time of the day. If only they paid their workers a livable freaking wage! The cost of living in this country is too damn high for people to only be making $7/hr.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in this world who feels like life shouldn’t be all about work. My freshman year in college during orientation, a published author (his name eludes me at the moment) spoke to us about the importance of following our dreams. You’re broke college students, he told us, why are you worried about making money right now? Major in your passion, and the money will come. Well, now I’m a broke college graduate (two years post graduation) deep in student loan debt, still living at home, and can’t seem to find job in my passion. What am I to do? Since I can’t find that job, I’ll make it. Whether that means starting a freelance editing service, creating a HubPage, publishing my first book through Amazon, or opening my own book store (please tell me there’s someone out there other than me who loves that smell of clean, crisp pages when they open a new book).
It’s so easy for us to settle for that loathsome day-to-day job just for the sake of making a little cash. I don’t want to lose myself and my love for my craft just because society says I need a job, and I need to pay taxes, and I need to blah, blah, blah. My brother up and moved to California for a business venture. It’s time I started making my passion a business too. And maybe I’ll do a minimum wage job on the side just for the hell of it. The pay sucks, but the environment is friendlier, warmer, and more welcoming (usually).
The Circle K is hiring. Hey, why not?
This post was brought to you by (you can tell I watched Sesame Street as a kid, right?) the following Write or Die Wednesday prompt…