The crew of the Angel Flame received orders to head out.
Petty Officer, Kyle Corbett sat at an empty table near the back of the mess hall and adjusted the collar on his blue and white uniform. “We’re about to go under,” he said to himself. He inhaled deeply through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. “This is what you trained for.” he said, but already he could feel the claustrophobia mounting around him. He felt the pressure, as if someone had their index and middle fingers on his temples and pushed inward, compressing his skull until it punctured his brain.
The voice of his father, the admiral, pounded at his eardrum. “Be a man. Marry a white girl. The Navy will beat that nigga-loving faggot out of you.”
“You should be at your post,” said Chief Petty Officer, Diana Knox, her blond hair wrapped in a bun underneath her hat.
“Yes, ma’am.” He stood erect and saluted her.
word count: 149
—Nortina
I suck at titles. 😦 Anyway, this flash fiction piece is brought to you by Mondays Finish the Story.
Mondays Finish the Story: a flash fiction challenge where we provide you with a new photo each week, and the first sentence of a story. Your challenge is to finish the story using 100-150 words, not including the sentence provided.
Click the froggy icon to read other stories and add your own.
It sounds like there’s a serious lack of communicaiton between him and his father. He’s trying to be the man his father wants, but should be his own man. Good story and realistic dialogue, Nortina. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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One could feel the intensity he was experiencing in his mind. NIcely done.
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I really like this story – especially his thoughts. 🙂 And, I think the title is great!
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Yes!! Love this story!
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Looks like he is going under and into the closet …Nice one.
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The admiral is a jerk.. hope Kyle finds some happiness! Good story and I loved the ply on words in the title!
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I feel sorry for him, having a father like that. Great story, and I thought the title worked well!
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Thanks! 🙂
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I am back, and I have a question just for you. Would you be amenable to suggest a subject for the next challenge? I will contact you by email if that is OK. If you give me the OK, I will contact you by email… Hugs to you Nortina! I love your writing style! BB ^..^
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Sure, you can contact me by email. I gotta think of something now, lol.
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🙂 We can do this together!
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Did you get the email I sent to you?
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Yes! I literally just read it two seconds ago. I’ll respond with some ideas. 🙂
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Great! I look forward to seeing what you come up with!
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I love the imagery to build up the pressure. It was a good read.
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Thanks! 🙂
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Very well written, and you definitely have that edge when writing. Like what Sonya wrote, maybe the rumours are true?
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I hope the rumours about the Navy are true and poor Kyle will meet the man of his dreams on the sub… Great writing 🙂
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Well I’ve been under a rock. What rumors?
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I love your writing! You have an edge that’d I don’t dare, but truly appreciate and this one was very layered and everything truly connected. Great take on the prompt. Love the description too, I actually took a breath along with the crewman.
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I think that you did a fine job with the title Nortina! This is a story well told! Thanks again for writing for the MFtS challenge! Be well…. ^..^
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