“What did you see?” the police officer asked, scribbling into his notepad.
“I used to joke about suicide. I would say, ‘If there’s no convincing you out of it, go ahead and kill yourself. Just don’t take the rest of us with you.’ I recognize how insensitive I was being, now.” I turned my head away as the paramedics wheeled the body on the stretcher passed me.
“So you didn’t see anyone push her?”
“I wish someone had. A girl that young. What would drive her to jump in front of a speeding train like that?”
“Your guess is as good as mine ma’am.”
“I can only hope she found peace.”
“Some witnesses say they saw her sleeping on the bench. When she jumped, her eyes were still closed.”
“A death as violent as being run over by a train. I pray she was still asleep. I pray she was having dreams of paradise and didn’t feel a thing.”
word count: 159
—Nortina
This week’s photo was too much of a coincidence for me not to give you guys a part two to last week’s installment. I hope you enjoyed!
Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers is a weekly challenge where you write a story in 100-150 words (give or take 25 words) using the provided photo prompt as inspiration.
Click on the froggy icon to read other stories and add your own!
That was a great way to continue last weeks story!
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I like the way you use the dialogue to tell the story, Nortina. It is a sad story, though obviously not a deliberate suicide. Perhaps that makes it even more tragic. Well written piece.
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Sad. so I guess she was sleeping walking huh?
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Yep. Unconsciously walking to her death. 😦
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Great companion piece to last week’s story. At least her dreams were of paradise as she died. 🙂 Well done.
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How terrible to have your life end this way. Well written and great dialogue. Oh, that’s why the dreams of paradise sound so familiar – was that from another story of yours?
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Yea. Last week’s story took place in a subway station, & this week’s photo IS a subway station. I couldn’t resist writing a follow up piece. 🙂
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It worked out perfectly!
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I love the yacky lady and the cop…good dialogue going there. What a horrible way to die 😦
Ellespeth
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Very nice! I wonder what she was dreaming of.
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Waterfalls & blue skies hopefully 🙂
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That is lovely 🙂
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I hope she found peace too because that is horrible way to die. Excellent story! Your ending was unexpected and very good!
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Random thought: isn’t it pretty ironic to say ‘excellent’ and ‘very good’ to a story about a horrible death? Lol
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It is ironic. When I say those things about a story that has death, or anything I consider bad, I say it for the writing and composition of the piece. I would hate to say, this story is bad. LOL, only because the ending is not a happy one. Your writing and composition was very good. Guess I’ll say it that way next time.
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Oh no! I don’t want you to change! It was just a random thought. Lol
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Oh, okay! I don’t want you to think I am some psycho. LOL! I love creepy, weird, horror, ect., but only because I know they are fiction. Haha! You are such an excellent writer, you can make even the “bad ending” posts into something great.
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Thanks! I’m a lover of the creepy/weird/horror/dark stuff too. Edgar Allen Poe & Emily Dickinson are probably two of my favorite writers.
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I haven’t read Emily Dickenson’s dark stuff but I like Edgar Allan Poe and some of Stephen King’s.
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Surprisingly, I’ve never read Stephen King. I’ve only seen the movies.
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Did you see the film, Misery?
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I’ve seen bits & pieces of it. Never sat down & watched the whole film, but I know what it’s about.
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I loved it. Haha! It had a horrible ending, but it was creepy good.
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Wow, sleep-jumping in front of a moving train, that’s a new one. Nice take on the prompt. 🙂
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