The dense fog sinks to the ground and conceals the officer’s body underneath a blanket, gray as his skin.
View of the gun sharpens amongst blurred surroundings as it pierces the thick air, firing eight rounds toward the man fleeing for the abandoned rail car on the other side of the tracks, praying the rusted metal will block the approaching bullets.
One final shot strikes underneath his left shoulder blade. I crumple to the ground as he crumples, face first, heart bleeding onto the gravel.
“I said, hands behind your back!”
Does he not realize we’ve stopped breathing?
word count: 98
—Nortina
This is dedicated to Walter L. Scott, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, and all of my fathers, brothers, and sons who have lost their lives to men sworn to “protect and serve.”
Friday Fictioneers is a weekly challenge where you must write a story in 100 words or less using the provided photo prompt as inspiration. Click the froggy icon to ready other stories and add your own.
I admit the I/we thing puzzled me at first, but after a couple of reads it became clearer. Nice description of the fleeing man trying to reach the abandoned rail car. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nicely done. The I/we thing had me re-reading it a few times but I think I got where you were going with this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, the narrator is actually at the scene witnessing the crime & is symbolically a victim as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A terrible news story, worth remembering in fiction. I don’t think there are too many adjectives – I think they add to the atmosphere (but you have used ‘thick’ twice).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahh, I missed that one. The “thick blanket” was originally a fuzzy one. Then I took it out. (I didn’t like fuzzy.) Maybe I’ll just keep it at “blanket.” Thanks for the feedback!
LikeLiked by 1 person
While I liked the story, I found there were a tad too many adjectives. That is likely a personal preference, however.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really wanted to make the scene clear & viable, but can see where I probably could have cut down on the adjective use. Thanks for the feedback.
LikeLike
Reminds me of the shooting in South Carolina….Wish there were better solutions. Nice narration.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That shooting is actually what inspired this piece. Thanks for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person